Tuesday, October 28, 2014

He Said/ She Said

Jayne Martin issued a writing challenge to pen a he said/she said story based on one she put on her blog. In it a husband is urging his wife to get ready so they won't be late to his parents. When she resists, he leaves the house to wait in the car. Here's my take on finishing the story.


He said, "I wasn't sure you'd come."

She said, closing the car door, "I wasn't either, especially after the way you slammed the screen door when you left."

He said, "I was upset."

She said, "With me? For being late? There was a lot more anger in your voice than the other times."

He said, "I know. I'm sorry. I guess I'm not over losing the baby yet, either."

She said, soft fingers on his sleeve, "Like your mom and dad. They always make me feel so awful—inadequate."

He said, "They don't mean to."

She said. "I know, but . . .

He said, "Once we're pregnant again, they'll settle down."

She said with a shrug, "I hope so."

He said, "Wanna start trying again? It's been six months."

She said, "You mean now?"

He said, "Sure why not."

She said, "What about your parents?"

He said with a wink, "Screw my parents."

She said with a naughty grin, "I'd prefer you screw me."

He said, one foot out the driver's side door, "Last one naked's a rotten egg."

She said, "Hey! You cheated."


  1. Actually, it wasn't part of the challenge to base it on mine. You could have gone in any direction, but since you have: Not how I saw this going, but a very interesting take and great dialogue. Thanks for joining in, Jim! Please go visit/comment on the other writers' link-ups.

  2. Replies
    1. Ha. I didn't think of him as naked yet, just with a head start getting out of the car. :)

  3. Did not expect the twist at the end. Very nice job with the dialog.