Sunday, April 15, 2018

Revenge Is a Dish Best Served with a Bang

Karen stared at the three women sitting in the booth by the window as she sipped her unsweetened iced tea. They didn’t notice her, even though she should have stood out wearing torn jeans, a T-shirt, dark glasses and a baseball cap.

Janice, the one facing Karen, was the ring leader of the group—the group that teased and bullied Karen relentlessly as being “ugly,” and “shapeless,” and “dumber than dirt.” The other two—Donna and Valerie—laughed and sneered in support of Janice, but rarely spoke beyond an occasional “Yea,” or “That’s right, Janice,” while air-jabbing Karen with manicured fingers.

When the other two left, Karen removed the cap and glasses, picked up her tea, and walked over to Janice’s table.

“Mind if I join you?” Karen asked.

“I was just getting ready to leave,” Janice said, putting her wallet back in her handbag.

“This won’t take long,” Karen said, sliding into the booth and blocking Janice’s exit. “I have a proposition for you I think you’ll want to hear.”

“Okay. I’m listening.” Janice turned slightly toward the intruder.

“I paid a gentleman to do some research on you.”

“You what?” Janice said loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Let me finish. I promise you’ll be glad you did.”

Karen waited for the tension on Janice’s face to ease before continuing.

“Like I said. I had research done on you, and I know you’re hurting financially.”

“Let me out of here right now, you...you...”

“Bitch? Slut? Skank? Aren’t those the things you called me in high school? You and your besties?”

Janice stared at the woman. Her brain searched for a memory.

“Karen?” she said after a long pause. “I thought you died in that awful accident. How could anyone survive?”

“The doctors said I should have died. They’re not sure how I made it, but I did.”

“How come nobody said anything?”

“I was airlifted to the University of Nebraska Hospital for treatment. The doctors there performed a miracle.” Karen sipped her tea, took her time. “When I was healthy enough, my parents arranged for me to be flown to Mexico for experimental plastic surgery not approved in the U.S. They did a marvelous job, don’t you think?”

“I...I didn’t recognize you. Not even your voice.”

“Well, you only ever heard me say things like ‘Please stop,’ and ‘Leave me alone,’ and ‘What have I ever done to you?’ That sound familiar?”

“Yes,” Janice whispered. She turned toward the window, her shoulders limp.

“Anyway, back to my pitch. The payout from Philip’s insurance should have lasted, but you spent it frivolously and it’s nearly gone. Am I right?”

“How did you find this out?”

“I told you. I hired someone. Between the insurance payout for the accident and the settlement with the car manufacturer of the other car, I’m well off myself.”

“What happened to your parents?”

“Not that I believe you care, but they fell in love with the Mexican coast and decided to stay. I was able to provide for them also.”

“I do care.” Janice reached in her purse for a tissue and dabbed at her nose.

“So much that you went to extreme measures to find out what happened to me? How about attempting to be honest for once, Jan.” Janice hated being called that, but this time she didn’t flinch at the name. “Let’s get to the point. You moved back into your parents’ home after Philip’s heart attack. Right?”

Karen nodded.

“And then your parents decided to retire to Florida and leave you the home.”

Karen nodded again.

“And you sold off many pieces of art and furniture to pay for your extravagant lifestyle.”

This time Karen didn’t respond.

Karen waited until Janice made eye contact. “I’ve always admired your home. It’s very stately looking, sitting at the end of that long front yard. It must be a money drain to maintain.”

Karen sat frozen.

“Here’s my proposal. I’ll buy the house from you for market value. Then you can find a place you can afford.”

Karen finally spoke. “Maybe we could live there together. Be friends.”

“Now you want to be friends? After all those taunts when we were younger.”

“I’m different now. So are you.”

“Oh, you mean I’m not ugly anymore? Maybe I look even better than you? I seem more physically fit. Isn’t that why you wear those loose fitting clothes? Or are you just looking for someone else to mooch off of?” Karen held up a hand to keep Janice from replying. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. For a moment, I sounded just like you.” Karen grinned. Janice didn’t. “Tell you what. Let’s go take a look at the house. I’ve never been inside. I bet it’s beautiful.

Karen had insisted on going first. She pulled into the driveway and stopped, leaving enough room for Janice to follow. She got out of the car and waited for Janice to join her. “Boy, that yard must be longer than a football field.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Janice replied. “Aren’t you going to drive to the house?”

Karen put her left arm around Janice’s shoulders. “Just admiring the view,” she said.

She’d lied about never having been in the house. She’d broken a basement window yesterday, dressed as a utility worker, while Janice was having a spa day and placed a small bomb next to the gas furnace. Now, she slipped her free hand into her pocket and pushed the button. The look of horror on Janice’s face as the explosion and subsequent fire devoured the house brought a smile to Karen’s.

“Oh my,” Karen said, forcing the smile away. “I guess the deal’s off.” She turned to face Janice. “Whatever are you going to do for money now?”