Winner of the January 2017 Aphelion Flash Challenge.
“Oola looks at peace. Doesn’t she, Nate?”
“I guess.”
“You did a wonderful job picking out the coffin. The mahogany with the white overlay sets off her blue uniform nicely.”
“Least I could do.”
“It is, given the circumstances.”
“I’m surprised no one else is here. Everybody seemed to like Oola.”
“It’s early.”
“I’ve never been in a funeral home before. It’s like a dungeon in here, dark carpet, dark walls, dark mood. All it needs is shackles hanging on the walls. These chairs aren’t very comfortable, either, and the music reminds me of molasses. I hate the smell of molasses."
“Maybe those folks in New Orleans have the right idea, having a parade for the departed and making a party of it.”
“You know, she’s almost pretty lying there.”
“She never was a looker.”
“No, not really. The wig helped, but the long, oval face and small slit for a nose made her stand out.”
“That and the fact she oozed orange tears when she cried.”
“I don’t remember ever seeing her cry.”
“She did right after you stabbed her the first time.”
“Oh.”
“Hey, Nate. Remember when we found her rocket half submerged in the lake?”
“How could I forget? Strangest thing ever to happen in Cranberry Bay. That and the time Jack Burks fell into the water, pickup and all, while ice fishing. Idiot should have known it was too warm to drive out on the lake.”
“He was new to the village. Didn’t know the quirks of Lake Erie like the rest of us. Anyway, she was kinda woozy stepping out of that contraption. How would you describe it? Like a big old torpedo with four wings and a tail--certainly not the flying saucer you’d expect.”
“A torpedo with four wings sounds good to me. I was surprised how folks here took to her. Especially, Edna Farber. She never took to anyone.”
“When we told her Oonah was an alien, she wanted to deport her back to Mexico where she belonged. The rest took a liking to Oonah right off. Even kept her a secret to keep Nosy Rosies away.”
“You keep doing that. Her name’s Oola, not Oonah.”
“Right. I keep mixing her up with that poet lady. Anyway, it’s too bad you had to kill Oola.”
“I didn’t have any choice, according to you. She knew.”
“Maybe.”
“What do you mean maybe? Maybe she knew or maybe I had no choice.”
“Maybe she knew.”
“You’re the one who said she positively did and that I had to do something about it.”
“Well, you should know better than to trust me. Aren’t I the one who told you to shoot out Mr. Tundrell’s bedroom window because he was sleeping with his daughter.”
“Uh huh, and it turned out she was living in Seattle with her mother. A shoulder shrug? That’s all you got? I could have seriously injured the man. I heard the fights on the TV through the open living room window. You know he refuses to wear his hearing aids. I didn’t expect him to be in the bedroom.”
“And how about the time I told you to run over Mrs. Gilbert’s dog because he tried to bite me.”
“You mean the Rottweiler with no teeth?”
“Yea, that one.”
“You should have told me about the no teeth thing before I hit him.”
“That’s not how I work, Nate. You know that.”
“I should, but you constantly bug me until I can’t seem to help myself. So, did Oola know or not?”
“Does it really matter now? She’s dead.”
“Yea, she’s dead, and it’s your fault!"
“Hey, I’m not the one who found her sneaking out of our house. I’m not the one who turned angry and red and told her to not tell anyone about the money she found, and that she could have some if she kept silent. I’m not the one who called her a liar when she denied knowing anything about the money. I’m not the one who forgot to move the bag of money you found on River Road to a safer place—like I told you to. And I’m not the one who stuck the blade in her, then dropped her in the creek behind the Miller’s place. The creek was a good idea, though, since everybody likes that spot for fishing. Lots of footprints to confuse the cops. So, what have you got to say for yourself?”
“You bastard. You did it to me, again. Imposed your will on me, even though I tried to ignore you. You’re always whispering in my ear, egging me on to do bad things. And I keep listening to you, buckling under. Why can’t my angel side ever win? Why is it always your voice that prevails? Dr. Jensen is right. I need to get you out of my head. Stop listening to you. Be my own man.”
“She does say that a lot. Maybe Doc Jensen needs to be the next one. What do you think about that, Nate?”
“I guess.”
“You did a wonderful job picking out the coffin. The mahogany with the white overlay sets off her blue uniform nicely.”
“Least I could do.”
“It is, given the circumstances.”
“I’m surprised no one else is here. Everybody seemed to like Oola.”
“It’s early.”
“I’ve never been in a funeral home before. It’s like a dungeon in here, dark carpet, dark walls, dark mood. All it needs is shackles hanging on the walls. These chairs aren’t very comfortable, either, and the music reminds me of molasses. I hate the smell of molasses."
“Maybe those folks in New Orleans have the right idea, having a parade for the departed and making a party of it.”
“You know, she’s almost pretty lying there.”
“She never was a looker.”
“No, not really. The wig helped, but the long, oval face and small slit for a nose made her stand out.”
“That and the fact she oozed orange tears when she cried.”
“I don’t remember ever seeing her cry.”
“She did right after you stabbed her the first time.”
“Oh.”
“Hey, Nate. Remember when we found her rocket half submerged in the lake?”
“How could I forget? Strangest thing ever to happen in Cranberry Bay. That and the time Jack Burks fell into the water, pickup and all, while ice fishing. Idiot should have known it was too warm to drive out on the lake.”
“He was new to the village. Didn’t know the quirks of Lake Erie like the rest of us. Anyway, she was kinda woozy stepping out of that contraption. How would you describe it? Like a big old torpedo with four wings and a tail--certainly not the flying saucer you’d expect.”
“A torpedo with four wings sounds good to me. I was surprised how folks here took to her. Especially, Edna Farber. She never took to anyone.”
“When we told her Oonah was an alien, she wanted to deport her back to Mexico where she belonged. The rest took a liking to Oonah right off. Even kept her a secret to keep Nosy Rosies away.”
“You keep doing that. Her name’s Oola, not Oonah.”
“Right. I keep mixing her up with that poet lady. Anyway, it’s too bad you had to kill Oola.”
“I didn’t have any choice, according to you. She knew.”
“Maybe.”
“What do you mean maybe? Maybe she knew or maybe I had no choice.”
“Maybe she knew.”
“You’re the one who said she positively did and that I had to do something about it.”
“Well, you should know better than to trust me. Aren’t I the one who told you to shoot out Mr. Tundrell’s bedroom window because he was sleeping with his daughter.”
“Uh huh, and it turned out she was living in Seattle with her mother. A shoulder shrug? That’s all you got? I could have seriously injured the man. I heard the fights on the TV through the open living room window. You know he refuses to wear his hearing aids. I didn’t expect him to be in the bedroom.”
“And how about the time I told you to run over Mrs. Gilbert’s dog because he tried to bite me.”
“You mean the Rottweiler with no teeth?”
“Yea, that one.”
“You should have told me about the no teeth thing before I hit him.”
“That’s not how I work, Nate. You know that.”
“I should, but you constantly bug me until I can’t seem to help myself. So, did Oola know or not?”
“Does it really matter now? She’s dead.”
“Yea, she’s dead, and it’s your fault!"
“Hey, I’m not the one who found her sneaking out of our house. I’m not the one who turned angry and red and told her to not tell anyone about the money she found, and that she could have some if she kept silent. I’m not the one who called her a liar when she denied knowing anything about the money. I’m not the one who forgot to move the bag of money you found on River Road to a safer place—like I told you to. And I’m not the one who stuck the blade in her, then dropped her in the creek behind the Miller’s place. The creek was a good idea, though, since everybody likes that spot for fishing. Lots of footprints to confuse the cops. So, what have you got to say for yourself?”
“You bastard. You did it to me, again. Imposed your will on me, even though I tried to ignore you. You’re always whispering in my ear, egging me on to do bad things. And I keep listening to you, buckling under. Why can’t my angel side ever win? Why is it always your voice that prevails? Dr. Jensen is right. I need to get you out of my head. Stop listening to you. Be my own man.”
“She does say that a lot. Maybe Doc Jensen needs to be the next one. What do you think about that, Nate?”
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